Toddlers throw tantrums! Unfortunately, toddlers are not at an age where they can articulate why they are being so upset or frustrated. It’s up to the parent to figure out what is causing them to be so upset and finding a solution. It can be trying to figure out what is the real reason behind the meltdown.
So many people ask me, ‘How did that happen? Like my toddler just decided that the wall is going to fall and they were so happy and went through the wall like it was going to – I sound like I am talking about my kid.’ I never question this statement but ask you what it was that made you so upset about a silly little thing like a wall or a book. Many people feel that their baby or toddler has suddenly gone bad. I don’t understand, then wonder why it happened. The truth is, your baby is just finding out how much they can get away with and they can bully you, hurt you, and claim that it’s their idea!
You need to remember that toddlers are the same age as ‘ angels’ but the difference is that they are believing in their own angels and with their wings and heavenly influence. They imagine that God or the concept of ‘angel’ is at work and that you have come to take away THEIR power and make their little bodies feel so sad. Giggling is a form of crying for a good week at a time and when it goes, your toddler has another tantrum and ‘ wins ‘ even though what seemed small was the bigger tantrum. I have defined a tantrum as a fit resulting from the toddler’s inability to have her way.
Make no mistake, your toddler going verbal comes as no surprise. Many parents who have read my articles and watched my video ‘Tantrums’ have said that the best way to deal with the verbal toddler is to make the tantrum entertaining; add some props to it! Taking a break, distracting the toddler with a favourite toy, lying on the floor are some more examples. When the toddler is calm (which happens by the other side of the wall….) the parents can talk to them and explain some things about behavior.
Let me explain to you that you are not the only person who has tantrums. Add onto the tantrum. I know this sounds really strange but believe me, many parents go topless with their toddlers, the amount of energy the toddler loses because of the tantrum can literally tire them out. The toddler must go to the bathroom or get a quick toilet break and that can be a disaster.
One of the things that I do that works is to distract the toddler from her tantrum, letting her take a toy from me, spoon feed me a bite of apple. I promise to give the toddler a well deserved break and theninky some more to get the energy out of her system.
Some people say that when the tantrum is over the child that rings your office and notes down what she had annoying about that tantrum and what it did to her. Try and find these triggers and avoid them if possible! If they can’t be avoided then make sure that you focus on these and avoid the other things.
Another useful way of dealing with toddler tantrums is by screaming back and taking the control. Tell the toddler that the tantrum got out of hand and then tell the toddler that you are the mature one. I think as human beings we need to accept that we are all fallible, so the tantrum from a toddler will be drawn out. At the end all that has happened is that some ground of discipline has been established on the big mistake made.
Tantrums are so important to a toddler’s growth and mental development. If you know how to respond when they inevitably have their tantrums, they will be much more well-mannered and adjusted in the long run, which is what any good parent wants for their child.